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Wembley Supers v Central Crocs
2 May 2010
Power of the Pen
There’s a lot of mythology surrounding the formulation of these reports. Some blokes think I have a ghost writer, some believe that I slave over them for a week to write them, while others reckon that I have written them before the game even occurs. Aravinda believes that the Government pays me to write them. They’re all great theories and while I do stick to a bit of a routine, it doesn’t involve a ghost writer, a week’s work or having them pre-written. Although I will acknowledge it is sometimes hard to tell if they have been written after the game.
Alas, the routine is nothing like that. These reports are whipped up in front of the TV show Survivor. I have a few key memories of the game (be afraid Devo, be very afraid) and I manufacture the rest while watching Jeff Probst put starving yanks through merry hell. Which leads me to a confession.
I’m addicted to Survivor.
Which gets me thinking about the addictions of some of my teammates. For instance, Benny ‘Super’ Mann is addicted to giving at least four ‘don’t argues’ during a game. Aaron ‘Deluxe’ Brinkworth is addicted to asking what he should be doing and where. Leigh ‘Junkie’ Junk is addicted to re-enacting the empire state building scene from King Kong. Johnny ‘Poohbah’ Phaceas is addicted to the snap out of bounds on the full – preferably from directly in front of goal. Then there’s Craig ‘KB’ Nelmes’ addiction to switching the play, Tony ‘Baz’ Corbett’s addiction to sunscreen and Ian ‘Trigger’ Booth’s addiction to fighting.
But back to Survivor.
Right now it’s the Heroes v Villians series and I’m thoroughly hooked. I’m currently struggling with how Evil Russell has the majority of the Survivors under his spell. They have a chance to vote him off tonight – I’ll let you know how it goes. I’m also struggling with all things Rupert, but I think Rupert is struggling with all things Rupert.
In direct contrast to the conditions faced by those on Survivor, the boys from Wembley headed to Middle Swan to take on the Central Crocs on a gloriously sunny autumn day. It’s hard to top Perth weather in late April/early May. You’re hardly going to find better conditions for footy. Unfortunately, despite the perfect weather conditions, Sean ‘Sarge’ Sargeant and Paul ‘Radar’ Brown continued to display skills that would have you thinking we were playing in a downpour.....on a mudheap....in a gale.
Thankfully we are a really accepting bunch down at Wembley and they’ll never know we rate their skills about as highly as Mark ‘Aravinda’ da Silva rates keeping your feet in a contest.
Inspired by Survivor and Jeff Kennett’s incessant ramblings on the Hawthorn Footy Club website, we decided we’d vote someone out for this week’s match. And like Jeff we decided a statement was needed. In a gripping tribal council, Craig ‘KB’ Nelmes was blindsided by the Hawks Alliance of Sarge and Brett ‘Flicka’ Althorpe and was voted out. This led to the Hawks Alliance, ably assisted by Ben ‘BP’ Powell running the team for the weekend.
BP stepped up to the mark in fine fashion. While lacking a whiteboard, BP had devised a team complete with everything: colour coding; rotations; an imposing spine; and – most impressively – Aravinda in the backline. Kudos BP.
As you would expect when two physios take over the running of the team, the warm-up was perhaps the worst ever encountered. In fact to even say there was a warm-up is gilding the lily. Having said that, it was obviously an inspired tactic as we ran out the game with ease and didn’t suffer any injuries for the first time this year. They’re bloody clever those physios, aren’t they?!
The first quarter would set the scene for the way the match would pan out and would see the mighty Supers play some inspired, unselfish team footy. Run was rewarded, first options were the choice of the day and handballs were given to those in better position. Some quality goals were kicked too. Flicka kicked a beauty on the run, Junkie finished off his quality aerial work and Glen ‘Jane’ Austen showed his polish from 45m out.
The second quarter would see us heading into a slight breeze, but that just lifted our desire to share the footy around. The dividends were there for all to see with some excellent passages of play where the footy was taken from the backline and worked through the middle to eventually find its way through the big sticks. Invariably these plays would be started by a Trigger mark or spoil (he is playing some inspired footy), and swept away by Poohbah, Jane, Nathan ‘Clear’ Colgan or Clint ‘Fev’ Nieuwendaal. Of course they need to have someone to kick it to and James ‘Jimmy’ Waghorn, Flicka, Radar, Michael ‘Devo’ Devine and that other bloke playing across half forward presented repeatedly. They were then able to spin on a dime and hit up Junkie, while pretending to look for Joey Agnello, just to ensure he felt included.
At half time spirits were high and the jokes about bouncy castles, Sarge’s skills and Aravinda’s staying power flowed. BP encouraged the troops to remain focused on our quality team play and reminded us we needed to give Joey a kick so that match report contractual obligations could be met.
It was in the third quarter that we decided to kick it to Joey. Had I known that he would be so eager to handball it off when more than 30 metres out I would have kicked it to him more often. He presented strongly throughout the quarter and we actually honoured one of his ‘leads’. Joey lives by the adage that a good forward doesn’t leave the goal square, and he stayed true to his word for the majority of the game.
By the final quarter it was clear which way the game was going and the boys remained committed to sharing the footy even more so than the previous three quarters. Fev ensured that Joey hit the scoreboard with a selfless handpass in the goal square and while the midfield continued to get hammered at the clearances they more than made up for it around the ground.
The siren sounded to end the game and there were smiles all round on Wembley faces.
KB will be back for the next match, but a big thanks to BP for his efforts in running the side on the day.
Pick of the Bunch: A quality team effort
Turkey of the Week: It’s a known fact that Turkey’s can’t handball, so there can only be one winner this week. I reckon he’s read this report and thought he got away with it, but Michael ‘Devo’ Devine takes home the dinner voucher this week for his hilarious decision to ignore two team mates open in front of goal and take a snap from an impossible angle.
Anyone that hungry needs a dinner voucher.
Enjoy the meal Devo.
Oh, and they voted out Amanda. Those heroes are doomed.